i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
