yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
