whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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