On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Randomize
