Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
