remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize