the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
