She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
