Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
