Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
