Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
