no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
