just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
