I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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