We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize