even my farts smell like vagina
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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