We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
