Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize