Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
