yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize