He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
