Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
