Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
