oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
