Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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