and i looked up. we had an audience...
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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