Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
