He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
