Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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