i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
The ass gains better be worth it
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