Whatcha textin bout Willis?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
