If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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