peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize