I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
