Small penises have feelings too.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
