Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
