I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
