You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
