My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
