lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
