i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
