if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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