That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
