She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
