You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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