You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
