No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize