ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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