so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
