How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
