The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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