i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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