I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
