mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
