i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
