Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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