By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
