Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
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