We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Randomize
