Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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