based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
