Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
