nut hugger
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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