i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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