I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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