so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
The feeling are messing with the penis
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
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