how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
