Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
