she was so not down for the gang bang
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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