I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
