I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Actions speak louder than pants.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
